Finding Comfort During Uncomfortable Times

By Dr. Samantha Backhaus, PhD, HSPP

Fluidity! It’s been long known that stability, routine, and knowing what to expect creates comfort. This helps us humans function and be the best we can be. During unprecedented or uncomfortable times, it seems like the buzz word is “fluidity.” This basically means that at any given point in time, things can – and likely will – change. What we know about our routine and sense of stability goes out the window. Information we learn today will guide us on what to do today, but that may change tomorrow. This uncertainty can create huge sense of vulnerability, stress, and discomfort for all of us.

Good news. We can still find comfort during difficult times. Paying attention to the things we can find comfort in can help in the following ways:

• Allows us to feel less stressed, nervous, scared, and vulnerable.
• Allows us to work together better and accomplish more tasks during these difficult times.
• Allows us to get along better with our families, spouses, and kids.
• Teaches us that as human beings, we have far more strength, wisdom, and courage then we could have ever imagined; and that in challenging times like this, we can use this opportunity to shine, not fall apart.

Ways to Find Comfort During Uncomfortable Times

• Acknowledge your feelings. If you are feeling stressed, it will help to first be aware of how you are feeling. Then you can do something about it.
• Take a quick time-out of a situation, if appropriate. Step out of the room, stop, close your eyes, and take five long, slow breaths. This will help you reset. Remind yourself that you are confident, strong, and capable.
• During stressful meetings, have something in your hand that is physically (but not mentally) distracting. Some people like to take a lot of notes, doodle, work on hand exercises with putty, squeeze a stress ball. If you are working from home, you can get even more creative, like knitting or doing adult coloring.
• Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone and almost everyone is experiencing fluidity, daily changes, and uncertainty. Sometimes just knowing you are not alone in your experience can bring comfort and reassurance.
• Be a positive role model and be a graceful leader. You can do this by remaining calm and not panicking, by problem-solving and not rejecting all ideas, by providing positive feedback to others and not cutting them down, and/or by remaining patient with others’ requests and not demanding.
• When you notice someone appearing stressed, ask them how they are doing and if there is something you can do to help. Helping others can provide an enormous sense of comfort for all involved.
• Take a break during your work day and do something that you find comforting, such as taking a walk, listening to your favorite song, doing a quick meditation or breathing exercise, using spiritual strategies if that is meaningful to you, doing some light yoga stretches, or calling a friend or family member. We don’t need to push ourselves all day long during intense times of stress. Taking “comfort breaks” may actually result in increased productivity while helping you maintain your physical and mental health.
• After the work day ends, make sure to find time to rest and do something fun or relaxing.