December 2023 Deb McIntosh

This is not a pretty story. It doesn’t even have a happy ending, but I believe it’s a story that other people may be able to relate to. I’m still fighting. It’s exhausting.

On June 9, 2017, my life changed in a not so pleasant way. It was a gorgeous summer day; it was clear and sunny with a soft breeze—a happy kind of day, until…

I had a doctor’s appointment that afternoon, so I told my boss that instead of going to the post office in the morning like I usually did, I’d go right to work and get the mail after my appointment, so I wouldn’t miss too much work time. On my way back into my office, I was enjoying the sunshine and warm weather. On my way back into the building, it sprinkled, just one of those passing Maine summer “rains.” I hardly got wet.

Our offices were in the basement. It was cool and quiet down there. I took one step on the top stair (there were 6 or 7 of them) and my feet just went out from under me! I went up in the air and landed on the very edge of the top step on the middle of my back (my T-8, the 8^th thoracic vertebra to be exact!). Later I would find out that I “deflated” my right lung, cracked my 10^th rib, and on the way down the steps I hit the back of my head on every step. Plus, I lost control of my bladder.

I mentioned being in the basement. It was Friday afternoon around 4:30 or so, and the other offices down there were empty, and I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs to yell to anyone on the upper level. I was in so much excruciating pain, and I was starting to panic. I managed to find my phone and texted my boss. He was in Augusta meeting with his bishop. He called the upstairs offices and 911.

The ambulance arrived. EMTs were assessing the situation. First, I was offered fentanyl and I said absolutely not. The EMT tried to get me to breathe in some “laughing gas” as he called it. I couldn’t. This scared me more. On the way to the hospital, he asked me about my head. I explained how I fell and how I had hit my head on the steps. But my back was the big problem. I knew I did some significant, serious damage. The pain was beyond anything I had ever experienced before and it got so much worse the next day.

At the time, I did not know I had a brain injury. I knew I had a huge lump on the back of my head, but the ER doc did the bare minimum, actually less than that. She did order a bilateral x-ray of my ribs because I still couldn’t breathe (it actually took over a month to breathe almost like I should, although I’m still affected by it). That’s when she saw the cracked rib, which she said was “not even worth mentioning.”  All the while I’m trying to explain what happened, but she was focused on something on her phone (a game, texting?). I know that she wasn’t paying any attention to what I was saying, and she just walked off and discharged me.

That weekend was hell. I couldn’t move without screaming and getting in and out of bed or to the bathroom, etc., I needed help, and I screamed a lot. I also vomited a lot. That’s when I knew I had at least a concussion.

I learned a lot as I was recovering. I learned that the account of my accident was incorrect in my record. Then I found that I had broken my back one other time, this time in my lumbar region. I knew I hurt, but I didn’t know why. I went to the ER that time too, but I was just told I had a couple of contusions, nothing to be concerned about. Actually, I had a lot more injuries that I wasn’t aware of at the time. I had been seeing a couple of DOs for osteopathic manipulation. But when I requested my records there where at least 9 times that one doctor insisted it was all in my head. Apparently, they didn’t read my records prior to working on me because in September of 2017 another medical provider pointed out to me that five years before I had fallen and broken my L-1 vertebra.

I had no idea I broke my back the second time for about 5 or 6 weeks, until I got a reminder call about an appointment for cervical spine injections for headaches. I voiced my concerns about that because of the possibility of having a concussion. So, I went to see that doctor and he said he wanted to take some x-rays. He came back into the exam room and exclaims, “Oh, my God, you broke your back!” He showed the x-rays on his computer and got up and left.

I wasn’t able to get a referral to see a neurologist for three years, and unfortunately, I would find that all he did was copy and paste the ER doc’s summary. That was one of the biggest issues I face even today. Six other doctors did the same thing. The spine doctor that I saw for the cervical spine injections sent me to a sports medicine doctor, I assume because he often evaluated head injuries, and his response to my visit was he only dealt with sports related concussions. 

I finally “fired” all the doctors I had. I tried to find another medical practice, but the one I did find was just as a bad, although he did have a good PT on staff so I stayed for a while. Then the PT left for unknown reasons, so I started to call around for a good physical therapist that wasn’t associated with any local hospitals. That’s how I found Dr. Teixeira and his office person, Cheryl. Dr. Teixeira was exceptional. Physically, he helped me more than any other doctor at the time, plus they were honest and upfront.

It was through Cheryl that I found the brain injury support group in Lewiston and so much more. I’m still working through a lot of the stuff, but I am very grateful for the support groups and brain injury community. About two months after my fall my boss, who was also a very dear friend and mentor, passed away. The grief was as painful emotionally as my back/head was physically. It’s been a difficult experience on many different levels, and I’m so grateful for the support groups I attend that help me on my journey.