Kevin Caffrey

In November 1994, my life changed forever. I was just 25 years old, living in Dublin, working and studying accountancy, with plans for my future. I had no idea that I was about to suffer a brain hemorrhage that would leave me fighting to regain abilities I had always taken for granted.

Looking back, what troubles me most is that I had a warning before it happened, and I didn’t take any notice of it.

A few days before my hemorrhage, I was lying in bed when I suddenly realized that I couldn’t speak properly. I jumped out of bed in a panic, trying desperately to get the words out. Then, just as suddenly, my speech returned to normal. I was frightened, but because the problem disappeared, I didn’t seek medical attention.

I now look back on that incident as a warning sign that I failed to recognize. I cannot say for certain what caused it, but I have never forgotten it. If there is one thing I would tell people, it is never to ignore a sudden problem with your speech, even if it lasts only a short time.

On the morning of November 27, 1994, the day after my 25th birthday, I woke up and discovered that I couldn’t speak properly again. This time, the problem didn’t go away. I tried to find a taxi to take me to the hospital, but I couldn’t find one. When I returned home and opened the telephone directory, I discovered something else that frightened me: I couldn’t read or spell properly either.

My girlfriend and a friend eventually drove me to St. Vincent’s Hospital in Dublin. When I got out of the car, I collapsed in the hospital parking lot, and my right side stopped working. My friend and girlfriend had to carry me into the emergency department. I was later transferred to Beaumont Hospital, where doctors discovered that I had suffered a brain hemorrhage caused by an arteriovenous malformation, or AVM.

I underwent brain surgery, during which the doctors briefly woke me to test my speech. They showed me pictures of animals and asked me to name them while they worked on my brain. I remember struggling to say the word “elephant” before finally managing to pronounce it clearly. It was an extraordinary experience that has stayed with me ever since.

Although I survived the operation, my difficulties were far from over. I had lost my speech, my right side was badly affected, and I needed help with things I had previously done without thinking. I spent time in rehabilitation, receiving physiotherapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy. Even the simplest tasks became challenges.

Occupational therapy taught me how to manage everyday activities using my left hand. I remember trying to shave myself and making a terrible mess of my face. Speech therapy was equally frustrating because I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t get the words out. Slowly, with repeated practice and a great deal of help, I began to make progress.

Rehabilitation was hard work, and there were setbacks along the way. About five months after my hemorrhage, I developed epilepsy, which affected my hopes of driving again. I also had to accept that some of my physical abilities might never return. But I continued working towards rebuilding my independence and finding a way forward.

Today, more than thirty years later, I can honestly say that I am much happier with my life now than I was before my brain hemorrhage.

My right hand is still paralyzed, and I still cannot read properly. These difficulties affect my everyday life, and I have had to learn to adapt. But when I think about what could have happened to me in 1994, I see those disabilities as a small price to pay for being alive.

I have a wonderful wife, whom I met in 2000, and a loving family who have supported me throughout my journey. I have built a life that I value and appreciate. I no longer take the ordinary things for granted in the way I once did.

I now work for Kerry County Council, a local government authority in Ireland. They have provided me with specialized hardware and software to help me carry out my work despite my disabilities. Having that support has allowed me to continue working and doing my job.

I was interviewed by Deirdre Walsh on Radio Kerry in Ireland for approximately 25 minutes about my brain hemorrhage. I became a little emotional during the interview because revisiting those events brought back difficult memories, even after all these years. Speaking publicly about my life was something that meant a great deal to me. I also wrote a book called “Battling for My Life” to tell my story and encourage others who find themselves in a similar position to never give up and to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope that sharing my experience will encourage other brain injury survivors and their families. Recovery is not always about getting everything back exactly as it was before. Sometimes it is about learning to live differently, appreciating what you still have and finding happiness again. To anyone who has suffered a brain hemorrhage, my message is simple: Never Give Up.

I cannot read properly, and my right hand is paralyzed. But I am alive, I am happy, and that is what matters most to me.