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We’ve Been Here Before

Categories: Being a Caregiver, COVID-19 Resources, Living with Brain Injury

By Laurie Rippon, Writer, A Brain Injury Life Blog

“If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs…” -Rudyard Kipling

In some ways, the COVID-19 pandemic feels like living with brain injury. The world’s been turned on its head, the future’s uncertain, and every assumption about life has been challenged. Having been here before doesn’t help. Our daily struggle managing “pre-existing conditions” is exacerbated by the palpable fear around us. Being bombarded with constant updates, advice, and new rules every day is overwhelming, and everyone’s on edge.

People are coming together by sewing face masks, checking in on their neighbors, even banging pots for front line workers. The news keeps saying we’re not alone even when we’re isolated. I don’t know about you, but I still feel alone. Screen time is no substitute for human contact, nor is shouting hello from across the street.

Before I ever heard about “social distancing” I went to Florida to visit my three-year-old granddaughter, Mila. Coronavirus hadn’t clobbered us yet, and I wasn’t scared enough to cancel. But I was feeling edgy. Really, my most pressing concern was if she’d recognize me and I wasn’t disappointed. The moment I arrived, she ran to me then back to her friend and said, “My grandma’s here!” I swept her up in my arms, her mom took photos, and I was set for the weekend.

For those few days, I was happy and relaxed. Coronavirus hadn’t gone away; instead, I’d turned away from it, entirely engrossed by what is truly important and good in life. Back in New York, anxiety returned with a vengeance. But looking at photos of Mila sent COVID-19 packing. Unintentionally, I’d stumbled on a way to cope.

Mila taught me well. Although we can’t change the world, we can change how we face the world, managing our fears by immersing ourselves in what we love – family, music, a walk in the park, or, for me, setting a challenge that demands focus, attention, and creativity.

What helps me might help you

  • Avoid information overload. Stop the assault of COVID-19 news. Turn off the TV, delete unnecessary emails, and avoid social media and streaming (I know myself – once I start, I can’t stop).
  • Structure. Everything falls apart if I don’t have a schedule. I have no idea what day it is, the date, month, or year. The answer?
    • Create a routine. Every morning wake up, shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast before starting your day.
    • Use a calendar. Schedule your week including laundry, shopping, even washing your hair.
    • Set alarms: a nap, take meds, bedtime, and a reminder to call a friend. Put big signs on your fridge: “WEAR A MASK OUTSIDE,” “TURN OFF THE STOVE,” and a shopping list.
  • Pause. Slowly breathe – in through your nose, out through your mouth. Release the tension in your body and let your mind wander. Be in the moment, as you are, worries pushed away. Make space for ideas to start dancing in your head. Just stay like this for a few minutes, and now you’re ready for the day.
  • A clean sweep. Make a list of the things you’ve been meaning to do around the house.
    • Toss old papers. Clean out the fridge. Organize closets, drawers, and the kitchen. It’s hard work deciding where to put things so you can find them again, especially with a brain injury. I’ve tried, then tried again and again. It’s a cognitive workout, but that’s good, too.
    • Look around and reimagine your space. Mix it up – maybe that chair is better in the corner or the table by your bed. Then try something else.
  • Get up and move.
    • Walk up the stairs (I’m on the 11th floor – it’s quite a workout!).
    • Put on music and dance.
    • Practice chair yoga, tai chi, or other gentle exercise.
    • Really go for it. YouTube has millions of videos for anyone from seniors to seasoned athletes, sitting or standing, or whatever works for you.
    • Go outside for a brisk walk (but remember to keep your distance).
  • Exercise your imagination. Have fun – the best antidote to isolation.
    • Pick up a pencil and draw. Remember, it’s about the process, not the result.
    • Take photos out your window.
    • Play virtual games with friends online: a sing-along, karaoke, or video charades.
    • Put pen to paper. Write something, anything. Maybe start a journal.
    • Have clay or Play-Doh? Mush it around. Who knows? You could be a sculptor in disguise.
    • Put together a jigsaw puzzle or do Sudoku.
  • Stay connected. Everyone’s in the same situation, and some are fragile, have brain injuries, or need support. Check up on your neighbors and reach out to friends and family, always. We all need to hear someone else’s voice or see their smile. Email, phone, text, or FaceTime; it doesn’t matter how, but talk to each other – about anything but coronavirus or politics. We have nothing but time and there’s no better way to use it. This is an opportunity to really listen to people, learn what makes them tick, and to open up to them in return.

We are community

I’m no stranger to living alone and self-isolating. Home is my “nest,” where I retreat when I’m overwhelmed by the world outside. In silence, surrounded by what I love – books, art, light – I am calm, re-centered. But for now, coronavirus is at the door and alone is no longer a choice.

This long, painful experience has deepened my gratitude for community, and I know that same community will be waiting for us when we return. After all, even when scattered and afraid, we are here for one another. Keep that in your heart, knowing that we truly are not alone even when we are apart, even in a time of isolation. Even now.

To read more of Laurie’s work, visit abraininjurylife.com.

This article originally appeared in Volume 14, Issue 2 of THE Challenge! published in 2020.