January 2023 Caribou Crowley Family

On a cloudy and snowy day in February 20 years ago, a 15-year-old boy was sliding on the new snow with friends when a bolt of lightning came from the sky above and struck him. This event caused this young boy and those who love him to draw on strength they did not know they had. This event provided a community response that has allowed this boy to grow to be the man he is today. The event started a series of changes and challenges that continue to this day.

Steve was an outgoing carefree kid who loved music, dancing, and video games. In 2001, Steve entered the Presque Isle Kiwanis Club talent show. This event filled the high school auditorium. For weeks we had been listening to Michael Jackson music coming from our basement and were amazed when Steve took the stage at the talent show and performed a version of Michael Jackson’s music video “Smooth Criminal.” Steve won the night and the hearts of the audience and the talent show. So much energy, desire to perform well, and talent were obvious to us all that evening. Steve was proud to win, and we were excited about his performance and the courage he showed to take the stage alone and entertain such a large crowd.

Steve and all the caregivers that have touched his life since that fateful day have witnessed determination well beyond what you would expect from anyone. Certainly, more than you would ever want to see from your child. We hope our kids have easier lives than our own. It can be a difficult thing to accept when the opposite is true.

After six months in the hospital, Steve arrived home with a feeding tube and on a stretcher and unable to care for himself. We searched for a physical therapist that would take on the challenge of helping Steve learn to regain his mobility, a speech therapist who would help him learn to speak and doctors who would guide his recovery.  This is a tall order in northern Maine, and we were able to find those committed people.  There’s vulnerability in depending heavily on people beyond yourself and beyond your family. These caregivers are not just doing their jobs—we asked so much of them and we count our blessings they were able to help.

Steve also found people who did not understand. Friends did not know how to respond to this vastly different Steve. They stopped by to visit a friend and found him to be vastly different. His best friend sat in our living room after visiting with Steve and cried. She wanted to be his friend but did not know how. We cried with her. They did not understand the needs of a person with a disability. The journey of a child who suffers traumatic brain injury can only be understood by those caregivers who take the time to get to know him and his family.  

What we all have learned from this experience is the drive to get better is an enormously powerful thing. Never giving up means never giving up! These are more than just hollow words or filler for a sports coach’s speech. The physical work that one needs to put in to align brain recovery with retraining muscles function is intense. Five years after Steve’s injury he went to his high school graduation. He got up out of his wheelchair and walked across the stage to receive his diploma. It was an amazing moment for him and his family and all who have worked to help Steve recover.

The caregivers in the room were moved to tears. We were excited and extremely proud at that moment but also feared this might be the greatest achievement of his young life.

Steve’s life is different than we ever could have imagined, as are the lives of all those he has touched. Steve is happy and healthy. He will require assistance for the rest of his life, but he has a life, and he enjoys every day, and we get to enjoy every day with him. The future on that day in February was not guaranteed, and his future is not guaranteed now. We wish we had a road map, but we don’t. The map we do have is built on faith and challenging work. That is what we have used so far and it is what we must hold onto. The work does not end, the journey is not over. It continues, and we are fortunate that it does.  

Nobody knows from one minute to the next in this life what will happen. Things can change with the flash of a light. We have learned to embrace every moment, and with the help of friends and faith and extremely challenging work and a positive attitude, you can overcome anything. Never give up is a statement that many athletes use, and many understand what it is to push oneself to the limit. People recovering from traumatic brain injury also know what it means to never give up. The difference is for these people never is not a defined period of time. Never give up means NEVER give up. Steve Crowley is one of the toughest people you will ever meet, and he is a gift to us all. He is a survivor and an example of how tragedy can be turned into opportunity and how determination and a caring community can lift someone up and help change a life.  

The best advice we can give to those supporting brain injury survivors or those who have suffered a traumatic brain injury is Never Ever Give UP!