August 2020 Spencer Weigman

My name is Spencer Weigman and I’m 31 years old. My TBI was a result of a work-related accident. I was on the back of my trash truck doing the route, we hit a bump, and the last thing I remember is my feet in the air going towards the tire well and I thought I was gonna die and it was lights out. That was June 2, 2018. I live in Bangor, Maine. I’m still struggling today but I continue to try and will keep trying for myself, but especially my daughter Rylee, and also with hope that one day when I get my feet grounded back in place and have some answers I can hopefully help others with issues I’ve been experiencing along with caretakers who need the credit they deserve. It affected me, but what eats me most inside is how the drastic changes have affected my family. That’s guilt I still live and struggle with. I don’t know what I’d do without my girlfriend and daughter’s mother, Donna. I experience overstimulation, extreme irritability and anger even though I know its irrational, chronic pain, and isolation. I isolate because it keeps myself safe from others but also them from me if I am in an irrational mood. I’m holding on to hope and the power of healing, and I also want to let others know who are struggling that they are not alone and I understand what you are going through. Stay strong and keep fighting! 

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“I Lost Myself”

Emotions Run Rampant,
No control and I can’t Stand It,
All the Things I Took For Granted.

I Lost Myself. 

The Pain, The Hurt, The Loss Of Self,
Broken Brain To Sort, I Need More Help.
I Reach And I Reach, But Nothing’s There,
I Try And I Try, Yet They Don’t Seem To Care. 

I Lost Myself

I Know I’m Broken, Where do I Begin?
I Feel So Lonely, Yet Don’t Want Any Friends,
They Say with Time You’ll Heal, You’ll Mend,
So I Tell Them I’m Fine, But it’s All Pretend.

I Lost Myself

Everyday Is The Same, When Will This End?
I’m Not Me Anymore, My soul Blows In the Wind. 
I Try To accept, Move on, and Do Good,
Listen to Professionals and Do As I Should, But They Don’t Understand What’s Not In Their Books,

Doctor……

I’M NOT MYSELF