From No Knowledge to In Depth Knowledge
“From no knowledge to indepth knowledge” My boyfriend was in a serious car accident in my state on February 19, 2011. He rolled 11 times down the embankment on the side of one of our highways. The accident was so bad it made the news. The witnesses said when they got to him, it sounded like he was gurgling. In fact the doctors think he was taking his last breaths. He was unresponsive when paramedics got there and later flatlined twice in the hospital. The doctors advised his parents 8 hours after the injury to pull the plug. He had a 95% chance of being a vegetable, he did everything but break his legs. His seat belt saved him from being thrown from the car. He had a right side subdural hematoma and herniation, 2 collapsed lungs,9 broken ribs,left drop foot, his left shoulder blade shattered, rotator cuff damaged,and his left arm broken in 3 places where it was hanging out the window.
He was in a coma for almost four weeks. In the hospital he had seizures and mini strokes. The doctors didn’t bother to fix his left arm since they expected him to die.
Before his accident, he was living a crazy life, an adrenaline junkie. On the path to either death or jail. He was a known street racer, doing and selling drugs and plenty of other illegal things. At the time of the accident, he was NOT racing. It was later discovered his upper ball joint broke off. But the state police did no investigation. He had a passenger and she had some injuries but was not nearly as bad off. The state police buried his injuries at the bottom of the file.
He was in the hospital till July 2011. They put a shunt in the left side of his head that drains into his stomach. When he got out, he couldn’t walk, he couldn’t remember anything, and could barely use his left arm. His filter was nonexistent, which now it gets laughed about but I am sure he offended more than 1 person. Thankfully physical therapy got him walking again and using his arm again. Then, a set back; the shunt malfunctioned and drained too much fluid. His mom had to call the rescue. He once again went back to not walking.
By the time his court date came around in June 2012, he was back to walking, but with a cane, and he still had serious memory problems. The prosecutor and the judge were in shock when he came in, having no idea he even had injuries. His parents couldn’t afford an attorney so he was assigned a public defender. Unfortunately, he ended up with a felony- driving to endanger with personal injury- 5 years probation, 5 years suspended and 2 years loss of license.
All this happened before I knew him.. I only knew of him. My ex-fiancé and I were also in the car scene at that time. In June 2013, I left my ex and due to his drama, I was forced to delete all of my car friends off facebook. A few months later, I was able to re-add everyone and he was friends with all my friends, so I added him too and that’s where it began. We started talking on facebook messenger and then texting. We discovered we only lived 1/2 mile away from each other. One day, I had something in my tire. I texted him and asked if he could help me.. I had no idea was to expect when I got there. I knew nothing about brain injuries, except what you see on tv. We laugh about it now but I seriously expected him to be way worse off than he was. He apparently saw something in me, because he pursued me like I’d never been pursued before. I had a lot of reservations. What will everyone think, im dating someone with disabilities!
Well as I write this (June 2014) it’s been almost 7 months. Its been the best 7 months I’ve ever experienced. This man loves me, appreciates me like no one else. It’s not about how much money I have, what I have and what I can do for him. It’s just about us appreciating each other for each other and I can honestly say I am the happiest I have ever been. I spent a lot of time asking questions, learning about his medications and being the best cheerleader I can be. His memory doesn’t seem all that bad most of the time(as good as any other mans! haha). He’d sort of just been “existing” for awhile. His parents were afraid of him going back out into the world. Some days are harder than others though. He tires easily sometimes and can’t always understand what I’m telling him. But I wouldn’t change how things are for the world. 3.5 years later. he’s looking to get back into some type of part time work and trying to get his license back. The main thing I’ve learned through all this.. is don’t judge a book by its cover. Sincerely, Amanda