Finding My “New Normal”

Prior to the accident I was very active with family and friends. I was always 
on the go with family activities. Birthdays, rodeos, games, celebrations you 
name it I went to them all. I was always the funny guy and people always 
told me “everyone loves Bruce”. I love to go trail riding with my wife, 
family, and our horses. We have traveled to many trail rides and spent 2-7 
days and enjoyed it very much. We also like to vacation and have taken 
many wonderful trips our highlights being Illinois, Alaska, Hawaii, and 
Wyoming. My work life consisted of 60 hrs per week, or more. I enjoyed 
my job as a working supervisor as a contractor for the railroad using heavy 
equipment. I really liked the planning and organizing that went with it. We 
live on a small farm and I always had projects and improvements going on. 

My brain injury occurred on a day that I wasn’t even supposed to be working. I was covering for another person so he could go with his son to a Boy Scout function. As I was giving some directions, the operator of a track hoe did not see me and swung the bucket around striking me in the back of the head. At least, I had my hard hat on. I was knocked unconscious and over the course of the day at the Drs. office, and the hospital I was told I had a concussion. I was also told I could go back to work on Monday and the symptoms should go away over time. 

It was a difficult summer as I had constant headaches, dizziness, fatigue, and couldn’t think right. I was getting lost going to job sites and could not complete a day’s work due to sleeping on the job. Following directions, much less giving directions, was not working. About 3 months after my accident, my co workers found me hard to arouse in my back hoe. I was admitted to the hospital. I began to realize then that this wasn’t just going to go away and would be something I would need to face up to. 

My brain injury poses challenges such as constant migraines, dizziness and falling, hormone issues, fatigue, and cognitive issues. This leads to wanting to be isolated in a quiet, dark room. I have fallen multiple times and sustained injuries, which unfortunately, has also led to additional head injuries. I cannot plan, organize, and remember like I used to. 

Getting better has been a learning process and has required help from others. 

The first year I found I was so depressed and in so much pain that it was hard  to cope. I was asking “Why me” and “ if I could or would want to live in this much pain”. I made it through it with help from my family- especially my wife, children, and grandchildren. I relied on my faith in God and felt that there was a purpose for all of this. The medical professionals reassured me that they would do all they could to help. 

I have used multiple strategies to improve the quality of my life. My neurologist has been very helpful and supportive. She has tried multiple therapies not just medication. I have worked with physical therapy, pain management, chiropractor, speech therapist, etc. I have been very fortunate to have a physician that cares. I learned some important things in a behavioral pain program to deal with chronic pain. Now I know that if I pace and space, and use relaxation techniques, and keep my mind on positive thoughts that it helps reduce my migraine by knowing I can cope with the pain. I have recently realized thru my faith in God that getting out and helping others brings benefit back to me. Even though it is easier to stay in the dark, quiet room I make the choice to do the work I can, spend quality time with my family, and make the effort to help others. 

My plan for continued improvement is to reach out to others by starting a Headache Support Group for our community. I am involved with our local AgrAbility and will be receiving an assist dog to help with my balance, safety, and work. I am planning to be available as a speaker whenever they need me. I have not received the dog yet but I am sure excited. He is a black lab named Odie. There have been volunteers that have spent countless hours in training him specifically for my needs. The gratitude I feel cannot fully be described in 
words but I am so very thankful! 

Before the accident, I worked all the time, stayed busy on my small farm, and was very involved with my family. Now that I am at home and at a much slower pace I can spend more time with my grandchildren. I also have learned a new hobby in growing vegetables and in woodworking. These are labors of love that I can still give to my family. It brings me satisfaction, pride, and self worth. I appreciate more in life now, things that in the past I took for granted. This is not how I was expecting my life to be but I have made the decision that I can live with and be happy with my “new” normal!