Erin Ellebracht

Hi, my name is Erin, and I am a brain injury survivor. If I had to summarize my brain injury journey in one word, it would be “resilience”. No survivor story can occur without resilience of the survivor, and I was no exception. When I was 23 years old I began losing my balance one day. After, three trips to the doctor and as many misdiagnosis later, I wound up in the emergency room explaining to my mother that I felt like I was going to die. It was the only time in my life I experienced this feeling, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. We found out later I had suffered a hemorrhagic stroke in my cerebellum and I was only lucky it stopped bleeding on its own, and that I was still here. A lot of my memories from that time were a blur. I couldn’t walk or stand by myself. I went from a vibrant life to the opposite of that, relying on others for basic care. I was scared, and didn’t know why the stroke happened, or if it would happen again. I found out later it had been caused by a malformation in my cerebellum, something common in people but also rare to have such a complication. With this now hanging over my head, I was anxious and scared all the time, not knowing if the next time it happened would be the last.
I was able to learn how to walk again. I took a driver’s test to get back to driving and my normal day to day. When the dust settled, I will say my life trajectory changed. I began doing better in school, being more motivated to accomplish my goals. Whether it was the fear of tomorrow not being promised, or the result of the stroke I couldn’t tell you, but I had a list and I was checking things off. I bought my first house, got married, and advanced in school. I felt very lucky to get to do the things I wanted in life at that time. About a year and a half later I made the decision to have brain surgery to remove the malformation in my cerebellum that caused the stroke because even though it was a risk, I felt I needed to take the chance to end the constant dread I had if ever I felt dizzy, or off balance. I didn’t want every day to feel like I might die today. I was fortunate that the surgery was a success, and although I had to learn to walk again for the third time in my life, I have very few deficits today and have gone on to excel in life and in my career and education, graduating with my doctorate in psychology just a few years ago.
One of the common misconceptions I have found that others tend to have about me, is that I’m completely unscathed by my injury. Because I don’t have any physical indications of a brain injury, people often question me if I limp on my right side when I’m tired. Even my family and close friends seem to forget that my brain is not one hundred percent because of the stroke, but I’ve become very comfortable lovingly reminding them, “brain injury” when they seem to forget. It reminds me that many disabilities are invisible, and to keep that in mind for others and approaching them with understanding and compassion.
Knowing what I know now about brain injury and recovery, one thing I would have done differently back then would have been to pay more attention to and be more of an advocate for the psychological healing from the stroke. I get that it was vitally important that I learn to walk again, but it was also important that I took the time to understand what had happened to me and emotionally recover from it. The advice I would give to someone who recently had a brain injury or is about to leave acute care would be to remind yourself that where you are right now is not permanent. Brian injury takes time to recover from and improvement may come in extremely small increments. It’s scary to look at what has happened to you and to fear the worst, that you’ll never improve. Hope makes a positive difference each day.
I’ve included a photo of me after the stroke, and eight years later finishing a half marathon.