Donna Jones: Yes I Can
December 21, 2011
Yes, I Can
by: Donna Jones
Many times in my life I’ve heard the familiar phrase “You can’t do that,” but it never had such an impact on me as when I heard it after learning I had a brain injury as a result of a car accident. Prior to my injury, if someone said I wouldn’t be able to do something or that a job was too big for me to handle, I became so determined that I would end up succeeding. After sustaining my brain injury, my world became very different. My work life, where I had been very confident and successful, suddenly seemed complicated and overwhelming. People were talking to me and I couldn’t understand what they were saying. I couldn’t remember the names of coworkers I had known for years. I spent my days confused and trapped inside my head. It even seemed difficult to walk and breathe. Doctors explained that I wouldn’t be able to hold down a full-time job, I wouldn’t be able to learn anything new, I couldn’t ski down my favorite mountain or live in “mainstream society”. In short, I wasn’t going to be able to live the way I had prior to the accident.
Well, seven years later, I’m holding down a full-time job and have taken on more responsibility. I continue to learn and I’ve skied down my favorite mountain in Colorado— not like I used to, but I was still able to stand on top of the mountain and see the view I dreamed about seeing again.
The doctors were right in saying my life would be very different. However, I’ve been truly blessed as a brain injury survivor. Before my accident, I was very obsessed with my job. I went to work very early in the morning and stayed very late each night. I was your typical overachiever. I was the type to always try to please everyone. I loved my job and I loved working, but I was missing out on life. My injury has forced me to change how I live and to pay more attention to my health, like focusing on the types of activities I can handle and the time I’m able to spend doing certain tasks. I have a greater appreciation for my life, the health I have and my family and friends. I surround myself with people who accept the NEW me. You find out who your real friends are when you live with a brain injury. I’ve been so blessed to have people in my life who will do almost anything for me. They’re always encouraging me and right behind me in case I stumble. My friends have taken the time to learn ways to help me without making me feel disabled or helpless. The little things they do make such a difference, like driving me when we go out or getting me something to drink or eat when we’re at an event. For me, not having to concentrate so hard puts less pressure on my brain, which, in turn, helps reduce my pain and gives me more energy to enjoy time with my friends and accomplish more.
I don’t want to paint an unrealistic picture. I’m still faced with many challenges. It can be painful to remember the things I’m not able to do anymore. I still forget people’s names, I get lost during conversations and at times my brain and body completely shut down on me. I live with different types of pain in my head almost every day. When I get extremely tired and exhausted, I lay around feeling unproductive and lazy. It’s hard to be young and forced to take naps— I didn’t like them when I was a kid— when I want to be out having fun. After being very active in sports, it’s very difficult to be a spectator. So I focus on what I have accomplished over the last seven years. I work full-time at the same type of job I had before the accident. I can run small errands for myself. I’m currently up to a mile and a half on the treadmill. I can go to a movie and understand most of the story. I can take the train alone to visit my niece and nephew. I can climb two-stories’ worth of stairs, tackle the TV Guide crossword puzzle and I’ve danced at my friend’s wedding. These may seem like small achievements to most people, but they’re major milestones for me and bring me tremendous joy. I love getting up in the morning and making my bed. It’s taken me seven years to be able to successfully tackle this task, and I do it each morning with such excitement!
I work very hard at finding ways to strengthen my brain and body. I’ve taken Yoga and Tai Chi classes helping me to stay relaxed while strengthening my muscles. Staying relaxed and having less stress in my life reduces the pressure in my head. I’m tackling computer games that teach me to focus and to pay attention. My eight-year old goddaughter, Jessie, and four-year old nephew, Cameron, play memory and word games with me to help my brain stay active. Jessie loves the idea that she is helping to heal her Aunt’s brain. She even invents games and is very protective of me. I believe accepting and understanding my limitations has provided me with more freedom to try almost anything. A positive attitude can go along way.
I’ve never asked the question “Why me?” I think there’s a good plan for my life, even when I may not be able to understand all that happens. This experience has strengthened my faith and drawn me closer to God. I know my faith gets me through each day and helps me face the challenges. I also believe God has been using me to help encourage others with disabilities and who are faced with disappointments in their lives. I believe all of us can have a positive influence on others. Recently, my oldest goddaughter was asked to write about courage for a high school assignment. She wrote about the challenges I’ve faced and overcome. I was very moved, and I’m humbled to think I could be a role model for her and her friends.
There is a rainbow in every day for me as a brain injury survivor. The challenge is looking for it, and when I find it, to let it shine brightly in my life. I pray each day that you will find your rainbow, too.
The doctors were right in saying my life would be very different. However, I’ve been truly blessed as a brain injury survivor. Before my accident, I was very obsessed with my job. I went to work very early in the morning and stayed very late each night. I was your typical overachiever. I was the type to always try to please everyone. I loved my job and I loved working, but I was missing out on life. My injury has forced me to change how I live and to pay more attention to my health, like focusing on the types of activities I can handle and the time I’m able to spend doing certain tasks. I have a greater appreciation for my life, the health I have and my family and friends. I surround myself with people who accept the NEW me. You find out who your real friends are when you live with a brain injury. I’ve been so blessed to have people in my life who will do almost anything for me. They’re always encouraging me and right behind me in case I stumble. My friends have taken the time to learn ways to help me without making me feel disabled or helpless. The little things they do make such a difference, like driving me when we go out or getting me something to drink or eat when we’re at an event. For me, not having to concentrate so hard puts less pressure on my brain, which, in turn, helps reduce my pain and gives me more energy to enjoy time with my friends and accomplish more.
I don’t want to paint an unrealistic picture. I’m still faced with many challenges. It can be painful to remember the things I’m not able to do anymore. I still forget people’s names, I get lost during conversations and at times my brain and body completely shut down on me. I live with different types of pain in my head almost every day. When I get extremely tired and exhausted, I lay around feeling unproductive and lazy. It’s hard to be young and forced to take naps— I didn’t like them when I was a kid— when I want to be out having fun. After being very active in sports, it’s very difficult to be a spectator. So I focus on what I have accomplished over the last seven years. I work full-time at the same type of job I had before the accident. I can run small errands for myself. I’m currently up to a mile and a half on the treadmill. I can go to a movie and understand most of the story. I can take the train alone to visit my niece and nephew. I can climb two-stories’ worth of stairs, tackle the TV Guide crossword puzzle and I’ve danced at my friend’s wedding. These may seem like small achievements to most people, but they’re major milestones for me and bring me tremendous joy. I love getting up in the morning and making my bed. It’s taken me seven years to be able to successfully tackle this task, and I do it each morning with such excitement!
I work very hard at finding ways to strengthen my brain and body. I’ve taken Yoga and Tai Chi classes helping me to stay relaxed while strengthening my muscles. Staying relaxed and having less stress in my life reduces the pressure in my head. I’m tackling computer games that teach me to focus and to pay attention. My eight-year old goddaughter, Jessie, and four-year old nephew, Cameron, play memory and word games with me to help my brain stay active. Jessie loves the idea that she is helping to heal her Aunt’s brain. She even invents games and is very protective of me. I believe accepting and understanding my limitations has provided me with more freedom to try almost anything. A positive attitude can go along way.
I’ve never asked the question “Why me?” I think there’s a good plan for my life, even when I may not be able to understand all that happens. This experience has strengthened my faith and drawn me closer to God. I know my faith gets me through each day and helps me face the challenges. I also believe God has been using me to help encourage others with disabilities and who are faced with disappointments in their lives. I believe all of us can have a positive influence on others. Recently, my oldest goddaughter was asked to write about courage for a high school assignment. She wrote about the challenges I’ve faced and overcome. I was very moved, and I’m humbled to think I could be a role model for her and her friends.
There is a rainbow in every day for me as a brain injury survivor. The challenge is looking for it, and when I find it, to let it shine brightly in my life. I pray each day that you will find your rainbow, too.