Cory Long

Things were going good in life. My kids were doing well in school and on the fast track to becoming wonderful young ladies. My marriage was going strong after 30 years together. Work was going fantastic with the end of the year looking promising.

As I stood amongst a 100 community members, colleagues and members of the volunteer program. I was proud and anxious to hand out the stack of awards that laid clenched in my shaking hands. One by one the members came up to receive their awards for their accomplishments. The look of excitement and joy was a truly amazing sight to see. Knowing I had a part in making it all possible was a great feeling. The volunteer program was up to 5000+ hours since we had started in October 2022. I had created an award winning program. I had maintained all the workings of the volunteer program and connected our Organization to our community. I was on my way to becoming a force to be reckoned with.

On January 26 2024 my husband and I were returning a headlight bulb at AutoZone. I stepped out of the truck and slipped on some ice causeing me to fall and hit my head. I stood up pretty fast. I turned to talk to my husband and turned white as a ghost causing me to fall again. I smashed the front of my head above my right eye off the truck door handle. Causing me to leave a dent in the truck door. I hit my head again off the ground where my husband found me passed out lying on the cold wet ground. When I came to I was unsteady on my feet, everything felt off with a strange sensation going through my whole body. I needed helped crawling back into the cab of the truck. My husband took the lightbulbs in to return them, he had explained to the guys working what had happened in the parking lot. The workers at Auto zone never came out to check on me.

We left to go grab dinner. While I was eating there was a weird feeling when I was chewing and my coordination wasn’t good making eating hard. I had no idea what was going on. I hardly remembered falling at autozone before dinner. I was having a hard time walking. Bouncing into walls and not walking straight. I started to get massive headaches that lasted for days.

I called out of work on Thursday and Friday. I went to the doctors on Monday. I had been doing the normal protocol for concussions cause I knew something was off. So I laid low, no tv, no lights, no noise. But it wasn’t getting better and the world just wasn’t the same anymore. I wasn’t right anymore. I couldn’t understand what was going on. Totally alone even though there were people around, I was still alone. How is anyone supposed to understand if I didn’t understand what was happening?

Monday at the doctors they diagnosed me with a concussion. I was out of work for three months, running through all my vacation time and sick time. I had no choice but to go back to work. My doctors gave me accomedations for work and light duty. I hung out with a member and did one on one until I was able to go back to the office.

Things still weren’t really getting any better. Noise, lights, following conversations, movement of hands or people just simply walking by made my eyes bounce around uncontrollably in my head and sometimes my eyes would do into a seizure like phase. Everything bothered me.

I was so worried about going back to the office. How would it go? Could I handle the enviornment? After 3 months I went back and was asked questions like, are you sure you should be here? Is driving safe? Is it too soon? Maybe it would be easier if you got a work from home job. Nobody understood I had to make money. I still had to live.

I couldn’t make it through a full day without getting headaches. My eyes would start bouncing around in my head. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t control it. I seeked out a optimitrist for my eys and she prescribed glasses with prisms and tint to help re align my eyes.

My world slowly started to be taken out from underneath me, and there was nothing I could do but to wait it out. The doctors kept telling me don’t loose hope. Try not to let the comments hurt you. Know you are doing amazing with the situation at hand. It’s ok to be frustrated and angry. It’s ok to be upset and sad. But you can’t live there you need to acknowledge the feelings and keep going.

I did just that. I waited out the comments from my coworkers, I waited out the way I felt. Wanted to quit my job on several occasions and wanted to run away from life and all the doctors appointments. I was having a hard time with communicating with everyone around me. Thoughts would just come out impulsively I would try to stop, but it just wasn’t working. I was getting in trouble at work for the first time in four years. I would cry when I was happy, sad, mad, frustrated, unsure, overwhelmed. The crying episodes have gotten better with some time and patience.

I tried to explain what was going on to my coworkers and bosses I handed out articles. I texted tik tok videos. I answered questions, but I was still getting such little sympathy and nobody understood and nobody even tried to understand. My bosses tried to be as understanding as they could be but towards the end it just felt like they gave up on me. I couldn’t do anything right and I was drowning in silence. I was getting written up at work for wearing headphoens, or wearing sunglasses. I was unapproachable they said. I lost a lot of friends and made a lot of enemies.

I had PT twice a week, speech therapy every week, vision therapy once a week for 10 weeks, syntonic therapy for for 18 weeks, neurologist, MRI, CAT scans and EEG. I watched my life crumble just to rebuild it. That’s what I did. I continue to listen to what the doctors were telling me to do.

I took the advice from my boss that if the conversation had nothing to do with volunteering then don’t say anything. I started to become quiet and I only answered the things that pertain to volunteering. I was done getting in trouble I had little control over the concussion but I had control over what I said. I started to shut down at work. Conversations were to hard and if I had to worry about what I said and about how it was coming out. It was easier to say nothing. I was told I had to figure out a way to take back my team and they would start listening again.

No one tried to help me figure it out so that’s what I did. I took back my team. I decided group conversations were to hard but one on one conversations were easier. And my relationship with the team started to get stronger did it on a one on one basis.

My PT encouraged me to join and online concussion education/ support group. I was pretty skeptical in the beginning but decided to give it a try. My PT thought the online class would help me to further my knowledge on what was going on with my body and the concussion. My PT knew the lady that was running the class and said that I would get a lot from her 6 week course.

Molly Parker taught me about what concussions were and how they could affect your brain and all your body systems. Molly helped me choose the tools I needed to help me navigate this new part of my current world. I have a really strong foundation and grasp on my concussion symptoms and how those symptoms affect my body. I have been able to handle the flare ups. I have built a toolbox to help me get through the hard times. I made a few friends within that six week online course.

Molly Parker’s online class was a huge stepping stone in my recovery journey. Teaching me its ok to not be ok. Its ok to feel the pain and tears. Ride the waves they will get better. Even though the comments at work were still coming at me. I was torn on what to do, were they right? Should I give it all up? How do I give up something that I worked so hard to create I just couldn’t do it.

I took my PT‘s advice and said forget it. This is me right now. I’m OK with that cause no one has seen the hundreds of hours I have put in at the gym or in speech the 4 days a week of dr appointments for 15 months. And 350 miles a week for traveling.

These past 15 months have been so hard, eye opening and amazing, even though it has been incredibly difficult I have overcome so much. I am strong, courageous and capable of anything. A journey of experienceing a concussion is hard, lonely, and confusing, a concussion tears you down to your barest form, your most vulnerable state. But what emerges is strong, confident person on the other side.

After 114 PT sessions, 10 weeks of vision therapy, 28 weeks of suntonics therapy and 19 months of speech therapy I am starting to do better in life. PT and speech therapy are going well. I am almost done with my therapies and now there is a new challenge in my recovery. Trusting myself that I can survive the flare ups with no support from PT or SLP I am certain I can make it with the tools I have gained.

This journey will continue to be hard but I am getting better, stronger, building my confidence and courage back up.