Rod Shares His Story

Remembering the day of the accident is not possible for me. So, as I tell the story leading up to and during accident, remember that these were stories that were told to me and not what I remember.

It was a cool October day in 1981 (Oct 2, 1981), after school a friend and myself at my house. I was on my computer (TRS80 color computer), in the family room when my friend pick-up my Daisy pump BB gun that I got for my Birthday and few weeks earlier. He asked me if it was loaded and I told him: “no”, he shook the gun and did not hear any BB bouncing around. Then in a playing sense, he aimed it at me, called my name, and as I turned to look at him, he pulled the trigger… This is where my story begins but, before I begin, let me say… That I do not believe I would have left a loaded BB gun lying in my room, pumped enough times to penetrate my skull and lodged 3/4 of the way through my brain.

Once he realized what he had done by seeing me slump in the chair as blood seeped from my head, he was smart enough to call his house and tell his Grandmother what had happened. But not knowing my address, this 12 year child, that weighed about 80 pounds had to transport me, a 13 year old child weighing about 120, over a drainage ditch, in my back yard to his street and then 4 or 5 house down to his home. Some say this may have a reason I survived. Once we arrived @ his home the ambulance was waiting.

At this point I was slurring my speech and was in and out of conscious. I am told that I was asked if I had been drinking? and I responded “yes”. This was enough for them to not rush me into surgery but rather sit me down and wait for a parent to arrive. Once my mother arrived from work, about an hour later, she knew that there was something else going on.

After a Cat Scan was preformed and it was clear that a foreign object was lodged in the Parietal lobe of my brain and that there was a clear path in my Frontal lobe leading to the foreign object (the BB). My head was shaved and surgery was performed, mostly to clean the skull figments from the entrance wound, at the temple of my head. It was determined, that in order to remove the BB to much damage would be done to my brain so, it was left alone. No one at the time knew what would happen next, not my parents and family nor the doctors.

I was sent to the intensive care unit, with some expectations that I would not leave alive. My parents were told that if I came out of the comma I  would never be the same and would never lead a normal life. So, here is my situation, at that time: I was in a comma, with what has been described to me as “A screw looking object”, in my head, I am guessing that it was to relieve pressure. I was in the comma for about 4 weeks and nearly died a few times. Once I came out of the comma I was belligerent, cursing, insulting everyone and not think clearly. (Keep in mind that I still do not remember any of this.)

My parents were pulled aside by the doctors and told that I would never fully recover and that current the BB enter the left temple and was lodged in the right Parietal lobe of my brain. They further explain the BB passed throw the motor skills area and the speech center of my brain and that they did not know what type of recovery to expect. They also told them not expect a full recovery and that I would be on medication to control seizures for the rest of my life.

Once I was moved from ICU, the first thing I remember is asking for Pizza… Then the hard realization began. My motor skills and speech where shot. I slurred or stuttered everything that can out of my mouth to the point of it being un recognizable as words, I could not hold a fork, or look at someone without my head twitching uncontrollably. There where many people who help me; speech therapist, physical therapist, my parents, friends, and teachers. I spent 4 months or so in the hospital relearning how to talk, walk, run, how to go to the bathroom by myself and nearly died twice. Upon returning home, I was in all effect normal, in appearance, but I had and still have many mental issues to deal with that were not dealt with at the time. The issues I had to deal with once returning from the hospital where physically unnoticeable but mentally, for me at the time, where incommunicable. This was followed by many years of rebellion and hostility to the world. I remember for years after the accident laying in bed and wondering if I would awake the next morning, therefore I lived as it was my last day on Earth and did whatever I want to do. I had hostility the person who shot me, and hostility to everyone around me. These were issues that I did not recognize at the time, but as I got old I laid the hostility down and forgave all that were involved. The issues that I have now are simple and I understand them, now. I am a very empathetic person and it hard for me to communicate deep feeling without balling in tears. My anger can still be an issue, if I don’t control it. I can erupt like a volcano and did as a younger person. Now I am able to control it or recognize that it is boiling and take the appropriate action to avert the eruption. By talking to me, you would not know of this incident back in the early 80′. I am a successful IT professional, with a wife of over 20 years and adult children.

But, as I look back, I do wonder how my life would of turned out if I had not been shot. As I get older I can’t help but to wonder how that small little BB, embedded within my brain, will affect my life and those around me.

All and all, I have come to terms with all of this and I hope that it can help some else who may be currently suffering.