Micheline Harris

There now is a “me” prior to 10/29/2024 and the “me ” after that date.

I was home on a two week break from my teaching job as a math instructor at an international school in France. I had 242 students from 7-12th grade. I decided on that Tuesday to take my 3.5 yo boxer Amos on a leash free walk up the mountain to the rugged woods trail behind our home in NH. I wasn’t feeling well. I called a friend and she said that I sounded “off” and “ not myself”. I told her I wasn’t going far as it was getting late and the sun would be setting soon. My heart rate was up to 142, I felt nauseous and tired and felt a rare headache coming on. I remember seeing Amos about 100 yds in front of me running as a flash of orange since he had his safety vest on. I called him to me and as he had been vigorously trained. I started to turn and place my right hand by my thigh. I felt his wet nose bump my hand and that’s the last thing I remember clearly for the next 48 hours.

Unbeknownst to me I had genetic epilepsy and had a tonic clonic seizure status epilepticus. This wooded area is very rocky, steep with loose gravel, wild animals, ravines and ledges. Amos stood on me to protect me and when I “came to” I was standing upright with my trekking poles in my hand, the ground rushing up to me and tunnel vision. Amos led me 1 mile home. I have no memory of this walk other than I was safe and I saw Amos and his bright orange vest.

Via the seizure I also had a concussion and a TBI that affected my speech, vision, physical abilities as well as processing speed, ability to read and write. I was 58 yo and now early retired. I’ve been rehabbing with vision, cognitive and behavioral therapy to accept, love and embrace the new me. It was hard with many dark days and depression. I live in a very remote area of NH and couldn’t drive for one year. My injury and diagnosis has affected my adult children, husband and extended family. Everyone has adjusted.

One of the challenges that I have is that my disability is not visible. To look at me people assume “ I’m normal”. People ask why do you have a service dog, why do you stutter, and generally invasive questions.

I’ve had to learn to accept myself, create boundaries and routines to keep myself safe, my mind calm and relaxed as well as how to reintegrate back into activities that I loved. My vision in my right eye will never be the same, I have frequent migraines, short term memory is still an issue, for safety I should not do certain activities alone and anti seizure medication is forever.

But now after a year and a half I love me and am forever grateful for all of the support that I received. I volunteer at the organization that found drivers for me to go to my medical appointments. I’m indebted to the facility that helped me to ski, kayak and hike again confidently and safely.

Through my experience I’m not sleep walking through my life anymore. I’m awake, aware, mindful, really listening to and enjoying my interactions with others. I’m kinder and I volunteer and try to give back even if it’s only smiling and saying hello to everyone. I don’t know why God decided that I should walk out of those woods that day but I’m so grateful that He did!