Jennifer Stevens

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING {the following content contains recounted detail which may be disturbing}.

Eight years ago in February of 2016, I was a victim of Intimate Partner Violence (*see reference at end). That beyond-terrifying night, culminated in him hitting me with dozens of closed fist blunt force trauma blows. All were downward impacts to the top sections of my skull. I was rendered unconscious for about eight hours. It is important to know that I routinely never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time for safety reasons, as he often forced himself on me during the night, when he was drunk.

He was still passed out when I awoke the next morning, which allowed me the opportunity to quickly and quietly grab essential items then make my escape. It was only by the grace of God that I could even focus. I was seen at the hospital after which I filed a police report where they took photos. He was caught and arrested almost 2 weeks later. He was sentenced to less than 10 months in prison, then committed suicide two months after being released.

Here’s the physical damage tally from these events:
During the approximately eight hours of torture, I suffered two concussions ~ one cranial, the other was of the inner ear; they’ve both now developed into Persistent Post Concussion Syndrome. The blows to my head rendered the following: TBI, Post-Traumatic Paroxysmal Hemicrania, Vestibular Migraines, Neurological Vision Impairment and Hyperacusis (from this or the inner ear concussion, or both). I had to relearn balance and coordination through Vestibular therapy.

I also had to learn how to safely eat and drink again. That’s because he would place me in strangle holds and choke holds. The bruises were so deep and lingered for so long that before they disappeared, the blood had tattooed/stained into my tissues. Now when I’m in a pain flare and swollen (that’s the Post-Traumatic Paroxysmal Hemicrania), the ‘old bruises’ appear. They’re under my eyes, around my throat, in my personal area, and there’s an absence of pigment around my mouth, from the initial blow. No one else but my new wonderful husband Sam and I might know, but the reminders exist nonetheless. I’m left with these permanent disabilities and disfigurements. This is just a glimpse into my survival story due to IPV as it relates to my life with this brain injury. The war wounds follow me, reflections of the strength I’ve found within myself.

I developed the following advice nearly 10 months after the assault. I was laying down and in such excruciating pain that I couldn’t get up to see why my face and head felt as if they were bursting. The only thing I could think of was to take a selfie with my phone, which I finally managed. I will never forget the horror I felt when I saw the image of myself. That was the first of what led to as of today, 232 photos. It wasn’t until a year or so later, that I came up with the idea of identifying each with date/time/pain level and any other pertinent information. However this process has been pivotal in diagnostic assistance for some of my providers. If you experience pain flares or any issues which you later try to explain to a provider but you just don’t seem to be able to reach them as you’d hoped, you might try keeping a photo diary of the events as they occur. When you do, use the Edit/Text function on your phone to date/time stamp the photo and if possible, include what your pain level is on the 0/10 scale. You can also create an album right within your phone, where you can transfer/store these images; or you can save them to a flash drive (you’d just want to make sure to always have that with you each time you visit your Dr, just in case you’d need to refer to them).

I’d say that the best single word description for me would be Reformatted. You too can Survive to Thrive 💜🧠💜

I encourage anyone who feels able, to share your story of survival. Let’s speak out on behalf of so many who never made it out alive. *You can find more information on IPV by going to the BIAA search bar and typing IPV or Intimate Partner Violence*