Nansie Douglas

My Brother, My Hero

In 1975, at the age of 28, my older brother John, while working for an international company in Borneo, drove off a cliff during a monsoon rainstorm. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and was in a coma for three months before regaining consciousness and recovering enough strength to be flown back to his hometown, Santa Barbara, California. He spent the next three years in a rehabilitation setting, relearning how to walk, talk, dress and feed himself. Three years later he moved to Los Angeles to live with my husband and me on a one-year trial basis instead of being sent to a permanent long-term care facility in Pennsylvania recommended by several doctors.

Our trial year was an emotional roller coaster ride; it seemed every step forward was followed by two steps back. John had frequent temper tantrums, which often included ripping his clothes or throwing whatever he could get his hands on, followed by bouts of depression. I had to juggle my time between our graphic design business and taking him to physical therapy, speech therapy, foot doctor, and eye doctor. John put a tremendous strain on our marriage, not to mention our business. As difficult as it was, we were committed to assisting John in his ongoing recovery. Life in an institutional setting, as some doctors recommended, would have been the end of his spirit, his competitive nature and his essence.

The big question: what to do with John during the day? We were fortunate to find a pilot program for the disabled at the local community college. This would give John a place to go on a daily basis, and we hoped and prayed it would also help him relearn some basic work skills.

What we thought initially would be one year turned into several. John had to relearn everything necessary to become whole again and eventually independent. Independence meant not only having his own place to live; he would also need to learn how to get around on the bus, and among other tasks, grocery shop on his own. During the day, while participating in the pilot program, he was given the opportunity to assist people who were more severely disabled. It was a major step forward for John; all of his time up to this point was spent on his own survival needs and struggles. But now, helping someone else made him feel his life had purpose. It took six years, but John finally completed the pilot program at Santa Monica City College, and it was time for him to move into his own place and find a volunteer position away from the comfort of the pilot program.

John’s first volunteer job away from school was at a hospital. He learned how to sort the mail, distribute it to the different floors and get outgoing mail ready for postal pickup. He learned many other important skills, but most importantly made friends and continued his long road to recovery. The job lasted several years until the hospital closed, and he was in need of another position. His next volunteer job gave him the opportunity to work in the city government print shop in Culver City, California.

Thanks to the various volunteer positions, some very special people along the way, and John’s natural tenacity, his life was once again full. His work gave him a reason to get up in the morning. He had a place to go every day where he knew his contribution was making a difference. During this time, John earned numerous “Volunteer of the Year” awards.

Twenty years after his accident, the doctors who had tested him several years earlier were stunned at how dramatically his skills had improved when he was retested. They finally acknowledged that no one really understands fully how the brain heals or what role love and support plays in the recovery of a person who has suffered a traumatic brain injury. When he left Los Angeles to move back to Santa Barbara, Culver City held a special place for him.

But that’s not the end of this story… Back in Santa Barbara, John found another volunteer job working at the Red Cross. He also became a member of Jodi House, a clubhouse for members and their families experiencing the trial and tribulations of traumatic brain injury. Jodi House gave John the opportunity to be with peers who were experiencing comparable challenges to his struggles.

John even got his driver’s license – ¬25 years after his accident – and moved one more step toward total independence. He took another major step when he applied for a paid position with the city of Santa Barbara as a school crossing guard. He was hired and worked for several years in this position. Having a place to go every day where you can make a contribution and be with people who really care, is critical to living a full life. Family, volunteering and supportive organizations played a major role in John’s ongoing recovery. What is important for others to know is that recovery is ongoing. Thirty-five years after John’s accident he continued to make progress.

Words can’t begin to say how proud I am of my brother. His struggles have been monumental and yet he has shown that life can still be about love, perseverance and giving to others even when you are in pain. The important message: Don’t ever give up hope! John was, still is, and always will be, my hero.

UPDATE
In 2016, John suffered a near fatal staph infection. All of his vital signs began to shut down, and the doctors put him into an induced coma. Once he regained awareness and strength, he was transferred to an assisted living facility, where he has been living since that setback. He is now wheelchair bound. However, his friends and my husband and I visit John often. When time allows, we take him out of the facility, giving him the opportunity to spend time in a different environment.

PHOTO 2014 (1) John R. Michael and his sister Nansie Douglas
(2) John R Michael lower right corner in his wheel chair at Jodi House in Santa Barbara, CA

Originally published in
Chicken Soup for the Volunteer Soul
“My Brother, My Hero”
September 2012
Updated and edited 2024
by: Nansie Chapman Douglas