Donia Reaves
On January 26, 2023 my husband went for his usual three mile run. I had slept in and was just getting ready to start my day and take our daughter to school. I heard a loud knock. I was startled and texted my husband, who wasn’t back from his run yet, that someone was pounding on the door. My phone rang, it was a police officer we knew. He took me to the hospital to where my husband had been taken.
Russ, the love of my life, had suffered cardiac arrest while running. No warnings! He slammed to the pavement. He went 20 minutes without oxygen and has an anoxic brain injury. The fall gave him a TBI and he suffered two strokes in the event. Three amazing Good Samaritans, Samantha, Harold and Tim…stopped to give him CPR, attempt to stop the bleeding and call for help. They saved his life.
Russ was in a coma for three weeks. Little hope given, but some believed waking up was possible. We never knew about brain injury. We never knew this was a common side effect if you survive cardiac arrest. We were only familiar with TBI’s from sports injuries and the effects we saw from them in the news, weren’t usually that bad. We weren’t informed of the memory loss or extreme fatigue.
Russ was transferred to LTAC because insurance deemed ICU wasn’t needed. While there, the doctors started Amantadine and some supplements. After three weeks, he miraculously woke up. He started breathing on his own and he was accepted at Shepherd Center Brain Rehab. Russ began eating soon after we got there and started walking. Cognitively, he still had a way to go. At the first medical conference, I was shocked; insurance wanted him discharged. The physical is what is measured, even at a brain injury rehab, not cognitive impairment. Another lesson learned. Thankfully, Shepherd’s has a five day a week outpatient rehab they immediately transferred him to. We continued there for 30 days and Shepherd’s provided us an apartment. They were wonderful!
On May 3, we returned home. I was so ready to be home with our kids, but life as we knew it was gone. I mourned that very hard for some time. With the newness of brain injury also came the reality no one knew we needed support and friendship when we got home. It was so very lonely adjusting. I reached out to some of his friends, our pastor, but I don’t think they understood how much I wanted them to be in his life as he “came back alive”. He needed friends to help him have conversations. He is in ministry. I asked for pastors to visit and talk about the ministry they are involved in. That only happened a few times. Again, brain injury is not understood until you live it. That is why I will be an advocate now!
We fought for recovery! Therapy, brain game apps, crossword puzzles, reading books about neuro plasticity, mHBOT, supplements, gettting back to running, trying anything that looks promising…advocating for Russ to get back to work, and live! Not exist, but live!! We went to Brooks Rehab for driving evaluation on Oct. 31, and Russ passed! Russ went back to his work in ministry around Thanksgiving. He is doing well. I still don’t hear his coworkers he was close with call him. He loves them and use to talk to them often throughout the week, but brain injury is isolating. I am still adjusting to that and trying to figure out how to change that reality. Brain injury steals much, no matter the recovery.
We are so fortunate! I know Russ is rare. All he went through! He is doing so much! He struggles with short term memory and fatigue. The twins of most brain injuries. He is doing well using a calendar and alarms, like we all do. I pray others will be patient, understanding and kind. Brain injury survivors deserve to get back to life! It may look different. They may forget things and be a little slower, but our society will be better for encouraging all its people to live, and not just exist. It is all about opportunities! We must strengthen ADA for employment retention and expand vocational rehab availability to help. We never heard back, as our local vocational rehabilitation is short staffed.
I am beyond thankful for the prayer, gifts, cards and care given during Russ’s acute days. My sisters and my best friend took care that our children were supported, as well as us, during the recovery! I know The Lord and his people that serve in the medical profession got Russ through this! We will never forget the care given and the amazing rehabilitation provided! I pray we can be a voice for those, who sadly, will face brain injury after us. The statistics are startling! More people will suffer a brain injury than cancer. We must do more and support more to help those who suffer live! And live life to the full!